Lord, keep me humble.

Matthew 5:16 says:

^"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

After the death of our son Charlie in June 2011 we have experienced so many ups and downs.

As I look back and reflect on this past year I can't help but to notice all the blessings we have recieved even as we walked through such dark and painful times.

The thing about God is that His timing is always perfect even if we feel like it isn't in the moment. When we live life and share God's word we are rewarded. We are after all human and when someone experiences a tremendous amount of pain and suffering yet doesn't stray God rewards us. His reward for us was peace and acceptance (and Cannon).

We will never (in this life) be okay with or understand why Charlie had to go so early in his life but, this question and saddness has somewhat turned to a focus. A drive to learn and understand God's word. In this process I have learned that His plan is ultimately the plan and Charlie's life was not an accident like the coroner proclaims.

Charlie's death was a window for so many people to learn about Christ and to understand that His grace is all that we need in this life. The window being us. We have taken this horrible experience and turned it into a way to reach out to people and to let them know that it will be okay and that God does love us more than we can comprehend.

We take every opportunity we have to share God's word and to encourage others to not be afraid of the unknown. Faith is a challenge and when we overcome the fear and hesitance we will be rewarded.

I am looking forward to all the amazing opportunities and people God is placing in our lives on this journey. I pray that we can embrace every moment but remain humbled in our blessings and use them to help people have faith and choose to SEE.

Each step we have taken has not been alone.

Our strength is not our own but rather a house on the foundation of our faith.

Isaiah 40:29-31 says;

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and

weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

New house updates.

So typically I wait til Friday to share photos but I am just so excited that I thought I would give an update. Besides I have 5 minutes in between laundry loads and hubby wants to see them. :)

This pic is my phone so not the greatest and it was about to rain. The top shakes are a pacific blue.

The top will be framed out with a cedar wrap. Hard to explain but it's going to look awesome!

Cabinets and mill work arrived last Friday.

I don't think we could be happier with this color stain we chose.

Footings for the deck.

What I saw this morning right away. :) I was so happy to see this since we are in crunch time now!!

The deck will be finished tomorrow.

The septic. It's not a mound system. something new they started doing but the zoning lady said it was good and we will be pleased not having the huge hump in the yard.

Super excited about the built in lazy susan cabinet.

How I survived without a pullout trash/recycle all these years is beyond me. :) LOVE it!

This guy is quick!

A refresher of our choices. So exciting!

The shades of the past.

The view of past times is different for each.

The particular past one refers to is it's own shade in the mind of the visitor.

My particular adolescent past is not a lane I prefer to revisit. No one particular reason is sparked but rather a collection of pain.

Last night was my high school 10 year reunion. (has it really been that long?) High school was not something that I ever cared to revisit nor half the (mean) people.

A lot of things have happened in 10 years in my life.

I was in an abusive relationship - both mentally and physically, I experimented with things a lot of dumb teenagers do, I buried my mother and grandfather in a 6 month period, I wised up, found my soul mate, got married and had our beautiful children.

A typical timeline, one I picture being pretty normal.

Until....

I realized this life is so very fragile.

Our precious baby boy, Charlie, died...in a tragic accident.

This event in our lives has given me a new view on things.

I see how insignificant the materialistic things in this life are. Yes, I still enjoy doing and getting things....I am only human. However, there is and forever will always be a side of guilt served with that enjoyment.

I wish that I could share with those a tenth of the understanding I have in my brain...that is always there.

I hope that this pain never leaves my side or my heart. For the day it does is the day our son died in vein. It's the day that our son's death becomes just a floating memory occasionally revisited.

Charlie is in our day constantly and is talked about EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and is on my mind and my heart EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. of every day.

I am so happy that God chose to bless us with Charlie and give us the 14 months that he did. We ar better people today because of him. Even though we do feel cheated most times we know with all our hearts that Charlie has done something greater than we could ever imagine.

Charlie's story has touched so many and continues to through this blog. I was surpirsed how many people have lost children in ways that are unimaginable. I am glad that Charlie's story can give those people I have reached peace in knowing that God is with them and that it will be okay.

Charlie at the age Cannon is now. 9 months and 3 weeks. The week Charlie took his first steps.

 Cannon took 2 steps on his own yesterday.

We call it offical walking when he does 5 steps in a row on his own. :)

So much love to you chunka munka!

We are so thankful for pictures and videos so that we can share your beautiful memories with the world.

Foto Friday

This week is short and sweet. Two of my favorite photos recently.

Meeting his uncle Preston for the first time. I love how excited he was. :)

Loving this sleepy hair!

Happy weekend ya'll!

HUGE progress today!

We joined the YMCA a while back and I have been going in the morning around 0530...when I force myself to get up. Lately I have been slacking big time!

A friend of mine is a rep for the Body By Vi shakes, have you heard of it? You can check it out HERE. It is seriously healthy and has given so many people great results in getting healthy. Well, since I am doing the shake thing (more on that later) now it is important that I stick to a regular workout routine to acheive the goals I want and 0500 is just not cutting it.

The YMCA offers a type of drop in daycare while you work out. So this morning I called and spoke to the person in charge and explained to her (more times than she probably needed to hear) our position. She was so nice and told me the times that are calm to come in and check it out.

So I did.

She said I was welcome to try it today or to come another day.

I couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth but I said "okay, I'll give it a try."

So I put him down in the play area for the babies that is blocked off and waited for him to go for the toys and I walked away armed with my pager they gave me.

He didn't even hesitate.

It kind of made me sad.

I peeked back and he was happily playing.

But I was glad he was a trooper.

I only left for 10 minutes this first time but...I did it!

Baby steps with this one but the worst step was the first and it's over!

We celebrated with one of his absolute favorites, peanut butter sandwich! :) I just love this little guy so much!

Pan revival!

It is no secret that I am a terrible cook. At least, I used to be. We got these pans for our wedding and they have been through a lot with me as the cook.

We are packing this week to move and as I was packing I came across these pans and decided I would give it one last try to save them. I was going to chuck the really bad ones if I couldn't save them. I remember seeing on the baking soda box that you can use it on pretty much everything. So.....I gave it a shot and well, the picture tells the story. I really didn't think it was going to work so I didn't take a picture of the first one. I went a little crazy and even tried a pan that was in an "oil accident" and it worked too! FIVE YEARS that pan sat in our cabinets not touched because we couldn't justify throwing it away after spending a ridiculous amount of money on it.

We are so happy to have saved these pans so I am sharing it with YOU! :)

All you need is baking soda and a sponge with the rough side.

I used a bit much in my excitement. You really only need a few tablespoons. I just used the rest in my other pans.

This is the one that was in the oil accident.

Starting to get better...

Almost there...

YAY! :)

Father's Day goodies!

This was so fun to make! I got my inspiration for it HERE. Sean's favorite candy is peanut m&m's so when I saw this I just knew I had to make it. :) I will be the perfect addition for his desk at work too.

I got the jar from Michael's and with my 1/2 off coupon it was $2.50! I made the topper with my cricut and vinyl. The tag I made by printing the words on card stock and cutting out the tag shape. Then I used a permanent marker to draw the border on.

Did you channel your creative streak for Father's Day this year?

Laundry Cleaning Containers

I have been using my cricut a lot lately. :) Here is one of the projects I made.


Ikea Jars
Ashlyn's Alphabet Cricut cartridge
Vinyl sheets for cricut

The laundry soap is my homemade one. You can see the recipe HERE. The fabric softener is white vinegar. Yes, it really does work well and no your clothes will not smell like vinegar. :)

No explanation needed but so cute I wanted to share! I will be going back for more jars and doing new containers for my baking products.

Foto Friday - MI trip and house updates!

A rare shot of me! LOL and imagine that....I have a binky in my mouth. One of these days I will get some decent pics too.

Treasure beach!

I just couldn't pick one of these. They are each a magic moment and show how much those boys love each other. And how much they melt my heart!

With his cousins.

And a friend. :)

Playing around with manuel mode. Pretty cool shot, I think...

Father and son...lol

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