Embracing Life's Journey: Where to start...

I am not sure why but this post didn't post the other day so I am posting it now. After rereading it I just want to for warn anyone reading that it's all over the place and a bit emotional...

I have been sitting here for ten minutes now trying to figure out where to start this entry. I have started it ten different ways only to delete them all with frustration of writers block/being overwhelmed with the amount of information I want to share. So.....here is my best attempt to not get you lost in this roller coaster of a post.

Sean went back to Florida to finish up there and was supposed to be coming home on Feb 29th and we got amazing news that he will leaving there on the 6th and hopefully pulling into our driveway returning from a Navy separation for the absolute very last time on the 8th. :) This fact makes me feel so many mixed emotions. On one hand I am sad because I know how much he like traveling and seeing the world but, on the other hand I am so glad because he will never be leaving us again.

Please pray for safe travels home for him.

In the meantime my wonderful Mother-In-Law drive down from Marquette to spend a week with me to keep me company, retain my sanity and of course to love on our sweet bundle of love - Cannon. :)

Speaking of Cannon - the child is growing like a weed! His stats were higher, again, than Char's were! It's weird because he looks smaller than Charlie was but I think it's because his face is narrower and head is smaller. At his 4 month appointment he was 27 inches long and 17 lbs 10oz. Charlie was 26.25 inches long and just over 16 lbs. Crazy - I know.

I sure am missing Charlie lately - especially when I am sewing. I have a dedicated room for my sewing now and every time I am in there I love it but I get a little sad. The whole reason I am sewing the things I am is because of our sweet baby boy. I wish so badly that I could bring him back. I often wonder if God was trying to speak to us to make changes in our lives and we were in the "no one is home" stage not listening. Sean is having a pretty rough time too. Him being gone has been hard on us but I honestly cannot even imagine the pain he must feel wondering if every time the phone rings what news is going to be on the other end. So I have avoided calling him too much to avoid that pain. Although, if I know my husband at all I would guess that he isn't even thinking like that - just me.

I do have a happy moment I wanted to share though. :)

Back Story: I used to take Charlie to the zoo A LOT last Spring/Summer - he loved the giraffes so much. I always packed a lunch and we would go to the cafe by the water park to eat and cool off before finishing off the second half of the zoo. On a particular day we were there with Sara, Cash and Carson and while eating I saw the mom from my group. It was only the second time I had seen her so I introduced myself and said hello and introduced her to Sara. We went about our day and finished lunch at the same table we ALWAYS ate at. This is part of the email she sent me that sent shock waves through my body - in a good way.

"went to the zoo today and had lunch at the restaurant near the jaguars. You may not remember, but that's the first place I met you and Charlie.Anyway, I was thinking of you and suddenly the man at the table began talking to his son... Charlie. It made me smile that I heard his name just as I was thinking of him. He must have heard me thinking about him! :)"

I seem to be getting reminders more and more lately and I love it. Maybe because people are feeling more comfortable about approaching me as time moves forward or maybe because Charlie is starting to give me signs because I am feeling so hopelessly lost lately but whatever it is I do know that I don't want it to stop. Ever.

I have been extremely sad lately because my path crossed with an amazing woman taking care of her beautiful little angel baby who was diagnosed with a very rare skin disorder called EB. Last Saturday her little drummer boy, Tripp, got his angel wings at the very tender age of 2 years and 8 months to the day. You can read more about their story at http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/ I was following her blog for a little bit before he passed and it just broke my heart to the point where I was sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted to comfort her more than anything. I knew the pain she was going to feel. The knock the wind out of you evertime you took a breath and realized it wasn't a dream - pain. The pain of going from full time care of your child to having absolutely nothing to do other than plan a funeral. And I knew the road that she was about to be traveling would get very rough. Then the more I read however the more I could see that she was more grounded and stronger than I ever could imagine being. So sure of her faith and so amazingly understanding to every card that was dealt to her. She has truly been an inspiration to me without even knowing it.

Please pray for peace for her family as they get through this next year and the rest of their lives.

Now for some happy news....Cannon finally got to experience his first snow! :) Even though we are having a shortage of snow this year we got enough today to take him'sledding' in the driveway and he loved it! He's also starting to sit up on his own and doing lots of rolling!! Love our little stinky butt so much! It's hard to deny now that he looks different than Charlie did but there are moments when he makes a face or turns a certain way that he literally looks identical to Charlie at the coinciding age.

I was also able to add a bunch of stuff to the shop over the past couple of days. Check it out if you haven't had a chance lately. charlieslittleark.etsy.com I am trying to decide what I want to do with the money I have made from the shop. I don't want to keep it and am looking for some way to donate what I am not reinvesting. So if you have any suggestions let me know. :)

Last thing; if you have been following along with the "Plan B" sermons from our new church here is the link to week 2. Towards the end the pastor talks about the loss of a child quite a bit. It's strange because we have not talked to this pastor at all other than a social hello. Have a listen, it's pretty powerful. http://www.kingofkingswoodburymn.org/?i=5473&mid=18&g=10866

Well, that is all I have for tonight, I am exhausted!