Saying goodbye...

Saying good bye is one of the hardest things to do in life, for me anyway. It is something I have become, sadly, too familiar with. First my mom, then my aunt, then papa, several (way too young to die) friends and most recently, this morning, our precious dog. I know many out there will criticize and grumble that I am this distraught over my dogs passing but I don't care and if you feel that way stop reading now.

We had to lay Jellybean to rest this morning because she bit Charlie in the face. Luckily I was sitting right by them when it happened and I could stop her before she had a chance to break his skin. She got his cheek and scratched by his eye. Honestly she should have been put down a long time ago when she drew blood on a very dear friends of ours son. However, we were not at the point in our lives where we could comprehend how bad it was. I know it sounds awful but its the truth. Its not something we are proud of but understand and have come to terms with.

She was our baby, we got her when we first started dating and had her ever since. Through all the East Coast moves over the past 5 years. At least she went peacefully and without knowing what was happening. First she got a tranquilizer and then the dose. I have to say the hardest part was leaving the vet with her limp and fragile little body. Just for those thinking we didn't try other ways; we called everywhere and no one would take her because she bit a child. We couldn't imagine sending her to animal control because they would have killed her, probably not nicely, and thrown her in a freezer. Not to mention if a shelter did take her would she really be loved the way we loved her? Anyone who knows us knows that she was beyond apart of our family.

We got home and carried her to the back wrapped in an American flag blanket she always snuggled on and laid her in the sun while we dug her grave. One of her favorite things to do was sun bathe so we got one last soaking in. She looked so peaceful laying there. Every now and then we would switch digging and spend a few minutes with her, saying goodbye. Finally we got deep enough and each took a side of the blanket and lowered her into the grave. Sean got down and wrapped her up warm and snuggled and we commenced with the rest. Said a pray for her and let it all out.

She wasn't just a dog. She was our baby girl and I miss her so much it hurts to even write this. I want to always remember this day though. Not for the bad but for the thought of her passing being so peaceful.

Rest in peace pretty girl, we will ALWAYS love and remember you.